What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

TEXT:

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Do people have to be a pastor to baptize?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What type of sex do women prefer, oral, anal, or vaginal?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Do you have any opinion on Japanese writer/actor Yukio Mishima?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

How do schizophrenia symptoms change throughout the day?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What is it like to use a Fleshlight?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Is it wrong of me to feel uncomfortable that my friend thinks my brother is hot?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why do Democrats never produce a good argument for why Trump was a bad president?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

Make Nazis afraid again!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What would you do if you found out that someone had broken into your home while you were sleeping?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How can MeTV Toons compete with other national broadcast TV networks?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.